Friday, October 26, 2012

And now a word from my brother Bill...

My brother Bill sent me the following email after reading my last post. I snorted coffee through my nose (which is really easy for me to do now) while reading it. Hope you enjoy it too. Bill is the brother that looks like this guy on the TV Series, "Abandoned":

Anyway, here's what he wrote me...

Jeeper, what a drill! And the SureKill Expy. to boot. You really must have pissed off someone important. 

Allow gobs of time for the SKE in the rain. And The Lord have mercy on you if it snows or sleets. I have spent hours on that 13 miles of what we so euphemistically call highway, with enough youthful impatience to frequently add to the misery of my fellow motorist. I should have had vanity plates, "dkhd@large". 

Suggestions for whiling away the coffin time. Try tunes that inextricably bolt themselves in your cerebral cortex like: "99 bottles" etc...., or that one that goes,"have a holly jolly Christmas...."  , or perhaps,"Jesus Loves Me". 
Further time wasting opportunities include but are not limited to making up new lyrics to familiar tunes. 
While bailing boxes for FedEx I have come up with verses describing my job there to the tune of "Fat Bottom Girls" (one of Freddie Mercury's best rip your face off blues/rock tunes). The sad consequence being whenever I now hear that song I think of package handling. 

I am empathic about the plumping dye. Took some stuff laced with Barium (!) once in an effort to revel my plumbing to the experts when I showed up at the Phoenixville hospital whining about kidney stone(s). Then had to stand in back of a brobdingnagian Etch-a-sketch while the decision makers peered into the front of it. The best description I can come up with for that experience was a spreading feeling of warmth, tinged with growing apprehension and a special kind of personal alarm. I suppose if that feeling were to unfold while walking one of the Sedona's Vortex trails, it would have been deemed a blessing or at least a positive experience. But the clinical environs of the E-room in conjunction with my growing unremitting dull pain forced subscription to a negative & apprehensive frame of mind. Moreover, in spite of professional medical prognostication, I did not feel completely normal when exiting the building. This due in no small part to the alarming experience of urination the Barium overboard before my release. Nothing quite like that has happened before or since. 
The hospital visit exacted manifold repercussions with a net result. I will suffer more pain than that what drove me there then, before going there again. I suspect that sort of thinking is an intended result foisted on hapless denizens by the front line authorities. 

Let me know if I can help with transportation needs. I get off work around 9:30 AM weekdays. And can cut out at 8:30 AM if needed. 

1 comment:

  1. Notice how the men can never let the cheese stand alone when they lay out "dick" as their chosen name? Always have to add a descriptor lest we let our minds wander and wonder. DK HD and Large? Good to know.

    I also enjoy coming up with my own lyrics to Fat Bottomed Girls... mostly self denigrating while cooking up something cheesy or something dirty... all other times.

    Your brother and I may have been separated at birth. Given... things, I think that was for the best.

    Keep the coffee moving south or I will report you to the doctors who will then probably prescribe something barium related. You have had enough special sort of personal alarms to attend to lately.

    Meanwhile my own brother writes to me about fixing radios and the constitution of his dog's poop. Color me jealous.