Thursday, September 27, 2012

I am That Kid.

Remember that kid in elementary school that snorted a strand of spaghetti out her nose & grossed out the entire lunch table?
I am That Kid now.
The Edelmans are sucking it up for me too :)
Yup. That's a Nostrogastric Feeding Tube I might be sporting for the next 6 months or so. There's many ways to look at this. I can hang Pandora beads on it, clip notes of my current status on it, Nose Dreadlocks, Boogie Bungee ~ numerous ideas. There's that new fad diet that involves a nose feeding tube. I can put some Vera Bradley stickers on it and there ya go ~ just like the Rich & Famous.

"TORS" apple pie.
Yet another mind-blowing medical experience under my belt. Truly amazing. You can read more about TORS here. 
As usual, we felt fully confident of our medical team which helps calm the jitters. Dr. O'Malley made it a point to lift that pie off me and spirit away with it. Dr. Weinstein spent time chatting with us & Dr. Rudolf made sure I didn't feel a thing. Big fan of that. 

Hysterical notes from the slab.
Breathing Tube disguise.

Breathing tubes. I pray none of you ever have to go through breathing tubes. I felt I was on the point of asphyxiation most of the time, even though the kind nurses constantly reassured me that yes, I was getting enough air. There was a whole horn section of us determinedly wheezing out musical notes. With our mini trumpets, we earnestly tooted away at various speeds and tempos. After getting my tube out, I felt so sorry for the occasional poor soul who would run up the whole scale with a quaver at the end. I jotted down lots of Very Important Notes that I can't make heads or heels of now. They are funny though. Also, I made a diversionary mask to cover my tube, ala Cindy Crawford. To think a zit would used send me into a tizzy is laughable now :)

Dr. Phil
Medical Stuff: HUP released me on Tuesday. I may eat pureed foods ~ no liquids though because I might asphyxiate on them. It takes me about 1/2 hour to eat 1/2 cup of applesauce so lunch dates are out for a while. I have my very own Visiting Nurse; a lovely lady named Robin, who will be checking on on me to make sure I'm cutting my toe nails and not supplying the neighborhood kiddies with The Good Drugs. She is about my age, has critters & loves old houses. We will hit it off well.

Craig & I  will go back in on October 2nd for pathological reports & to talk about whether I will need radiation, chemo or a combo of the two. Drs. O'Malley & Weinstein both seemed pleased with the results thus far. This makes Craig think, "Oh Good! Nothing to worry about!" and it makes me think, "Oh Crap, what is hiding there?". On the whole though, due to amazing family & friends and extraordinary medical care, I think my head is in a good place and my body will soon follow. Craig is trouping bravely along, minding the Ice House and making me feel special. Phil is pretty much self-contained & has a credit card:) I have started to do housework and worked on some graphic stuff for the store, so I know I am feeling bettah & bettah. I feel I turned a corner today in healing & was able to cross off a bunch of To-Do notes ~ oh so satisfying!

Here's a few tips I've learned: 
• Bring an extension cord for your cell phone charger. Don't forget earbuds.
• Bring lip balm.
• Abandon modesty & just "go" with the flow.
• Bring paper to make Important Notes on ~ you will not be able to remember or understand the garbled important points you earnestly had to write down from your bed of affliction, but looking at them later is a hoot.
• Yes, you have to have the Heprine Shot.
• It's probably not amusing to your room mate if you try to write your name on the heart monitor by holding your breath, because an alarm will go off. It will halt her snoring for a minute or so though.

Here's some assorted pictures of the people of HUP. Looking at them again makes my heart squeeze, they were so kind to us. It makes all the difference.
ALL the nurses were Absolutely THE BEST CAREGIVERS! 

Smiles are the order of the day at HUP.

Craig took pictures of the animals for me:)
Mr. Fist eats Pureed Peas.
Everyone was kind & friendly, and, most importantly, laughed at my jokes.
Thanks for the love!


  1. Glad you are finally home!

    I'm amused, and confused (and apparently rhyming). A feeding tube and feeding yourself don't seem to go together to me...but I'm kinda simple minded that way. More importantly, is Talenti solid enough (a pureed frozen food perhap?) to eat, or does the fact that it melts to a liquie rule it out? Always something to look forward to...

    Love your posts! Dinah Lee

    1. Hummm, yes, this Ice Cream Issue is a valid concern to bring up at the post op.

      I feed myself liquids straight into the tum so there is no chance some liquid will go down the wrong tube, I believe, but I am also dazed & confused but with good reason:)

      Thanks for your replys, DL, as i bare my soul (& other parts)

  2. wow-after looking at that bed shot, good thing there wasn't a power outage!
    i'd be sure to have one of those baby honda's close by!
    anyway- three cheers for where your head is at. your boys are lucky to have you with or without tonsils!
    maybe try adding a house maid temporarily to go with your visiting don't need to be chasing any dust bunnys around yet!
    i'd love to see a scan of your delusions...funny!

    1. Craig thought it was funny that there was a huge array of medical equipment and a teeny tiny TV tucked waaayy up in the corner of the room.

      We shall get together & hoist a challis of wine & giggle over those notes some day.

  3. Never a group of more handsome folks in blue scrubbies.

    Wonderful nose-eroni disguises. Your attitude will carry you far my friend.

    1. "Nose-eroni" ~ Snort!

      Hope you are feeling bettah & bettah yourself, Miz. Munch


  4. You are such a HYSTERICALLY FUNNY, courageous, extraordinary, beautiful woman, Susan B.!!!(aka Cindy)
    Your sense of humor is so inspiring, even on your roughest days. If it could be bottled and dispensed, there would be no sickness in the world because you could cure everything with your wit. God has blessed you with such a gift of making people happy and keeping them laughing. Your attitude will heal you quickly and keep you well. I pray for a wonderful prognosis and that you are healed in record time!!
    xoxo..Missy O'K.

    1. Wow! Thanks for the nice comments ~ feel free to rewrite 'em when ever you want :)

      thanks for your prayers, Missy: xxx's!